I don't know why I'm doing this...

my sister and I recently decided to start a fashion blog, and I've been trying to work on my writing skills. I can spell, I know grammar, but is what I write enjoyable? I don't think so.
I just got inspired to write about a much, much talked about story in my life. I've lived in this apartment since October I think, and we're still getting some things together little by little- such as my "office" that is within my closet. I'm always trying to scale down and pare down my belongings. today I went to Ikea and got a few new things to organize my desk with, so I began sorting books, notebooks, etc to organize them.
well, January of last year, I began a diary. of course I write things online from time to time, but sometimes when you get home from a long day, it's much more comfortable to curl up in bed with a physical pen and paper in your hand and jot down your feelings. I was inspired by F. Scott Fitzgerald's daily logs, so I bought a moleskine notebook and every once in a while (i.e. about once a month) would write an entry. the book only spans 29 pages, front and back, and begins on an undated page, which I believe to be early January, and ends on June 22, 2009.
This journal became a became a very sore subject for me, and I think my intention was to stow it away and forget about it. there is no way I could continue to write in it, given its history.
it basically chronicles the relationship between John and I for six months. I feel that because of the way he portrayed our "relationship", a lot of his friends didn't realize how serious it was. I don't think anyone could fathom how hurt I was during the time I knew him; how many times I stayed up late on the phone talking to friends, balling my eyes out, because of how he treated me. this book chronicles all of the times he said he was going to call, and didn't; the times he didn't contact me, via email/myspace/twitter/text/phone/etc for WEEKS at a time, and expected me to "wait" for him, and would call me after weeks and apologize and expect everything to be ok; how much anguish I felt. I really have a hard time paraphrasing what I wrote in the book... going through the pages, I cried. I don't have feelings for him anymore, but I would be a liar if I said I didn't think about him from time to time. it's so hard to put into words... I don't easily let myself get wrapped up in a boy. I know my own limitations, and I would never let myself become consumed by a boy who was out of my reach, due to his job.
but I hadn't met a boy in a long time who I shared so much in common with. a boy who told me he loved me, who said "you'll never know how much I love you" on many occasions... who told me he couldn't wait for me to meet his parents, who told me he was going to take a year off after touring and move to Philadelphia and in his words, not mine, said we were going to be a couple.
the whole time I knew John, I was constantly let down. I was working two jobs, and at the time I wrote this journal, interning on top of it. I had rent and bills to keep up with, a roommate I couldn't stand, and a fledgling social life due to my busy schedule. I didn't really have the time, nor the urge, to go out and try to date or meet new people. John was the person who could read my mind... he knew when I was about to give up, when I was about to crack, when I had bawled my eyes out over him, and that's when he would call. somehow, he always knew.
I really don't think anyone understands... it all started when I met John on craigslist of all places. I posted an ad about looking for vegan friends because I was brand new to the city. this was summer/fall 2007!!! I was in my first quarter at AI and I was dead-set on moving to the city and meeting vegans. he replied to my email and attached a photo. he explained to me that he was on the road due to his job, and our conversation eventually tapered off. basically, I had forgotten all about him. I was continuing on with my education, exploring the city, and I totally forgot about this boy! it wasn't until spring 2008 that we met. I remember this because it was right after I'd called it quits with Dave. the first time I met John, I invited him over to my house. not a smart decision- inviting someone from the internet over to your house the first time you meet them, that is- but I'll never forget that encounter. he told me he was tall, but I didn't realize he was THAT tall. we both squeezed onto my tiny loveseat in the living room and christina was home, so she met him. from the second he sat down we started talking. I remember Durrock was living with me at the time, so I asked him to leave and go make busy while my guest was over. we never stopped talking for what seemed like hours... there wasn't a single awkward silence, nothing. we talked about our families, our previous jobs... he had tons of funny stories and I remember laughing so hard. I remember he eventually put his hand on my knee and it made me a littl uncomfortable. after that initial meeting it was obvious that we would hang out again. and we did. after a couple of weeks he told me he was due back on tour again, so we tried to make the most out of our time together. when he left, I honestly don't remember how we decided to leave things. I remember the first time he told me he loved me, was via TEXT MESSAGE while he was on one of his many tours. I replied back to it, and even though it was really late at night, he immediately called me and we talked like giddy high school kids.
so we first "talked" via email fall '07, we met for the first time in person spring '08, and I heard from him the last time fall '09.
I remember he was home in July for the 4th. that was when he promised he was going to "spend 9 days with me". we were going to spend the 4th together. I remember the previous summer, we were still getting to know each other, and we did our own separate things with our friends on the 4th. so I really wanted to spend this one with him. he led me on all day. I didn't get to see him until late that night, maybe an hour before the fireworks show. I met him and Trista near logan square and he was drunk. once I saw him, I just wanted to leave. after the fireworks, I left. I decided to walk home, and it was terrifying. but I did it because I was so mad at him. I almost hoped that I was attacked, so I could blame it on him. I remember calling bryan and crying.
so he left for tour again. I moved into a new apartment in September, and I hadn't heard from him since he left for that tour. it was really, really hard on me. I was stressed at work, school, and with the move, and to top it off, it had literally been over a month since I'd heard from him. I remember one day at work, he texted me and said he was going to call me that night. I didn't take that with a grain of salt because every time he said he was going to call, he didn't. so, of course he didn't call me that night. a couple of days later though, he did call. it was really awkward. he started out with small-talk. asking me about my new apartment, how things had been, and I found myself rattling off my list of problems when I stopped and said wait- what's with the small talk? why did you stop talking to me? and he confessed that he had moved to pittsburgh. i had absolutely no knowledge of this. remember, he said that when he finished tour, he was going to move to philly and be with me. those were his words. he told me that, reinforced that, more times than I can count. and that is what really, really tore me apart. I wasted over a year of my life trying to stay true to him, because he asked me to and led me on with his grand schemes, and he finishes touring... and settles HOURS away from me?!???! I still can't even accurately express in words how much this hurt me. out of everything he put me through, every failed promise, everything... this is what has always resonated with me. I will never forget this. he had the nerve to say I should take a bus up and visit him. and I said, for what reason? what will that solve? what was he trying to do to me now? and he started crying, but I didn't this time. I stood my ground. it tore me up inside, but I wasn't going to let him get the best of me again.
we ended that conversation with a long pause, and we said goodnight. by the way, he called me at around 2AM. I had just fallen asleep, so I wasn't totally alert and was not ready for the bomb he dropped on me about pittsburgh.
some time passed... not a lot, I don't really know how long. and he texted me while I was at work. he said "it's killing us [my emphasis], not being together". at this point... I felt, how dare he assume that I still feel the same way about him after what he did to me. of course, deep down, I would have still given my left leg to start over and be with him at this point, but I couldn't let him know that. so, i said something along the lines of "I have this feeling that things will never become what I had always hoped they would". he sent me another message, and that was the last time I ever heard from john.

fast-forward to a few weeks ago. I go to bob and barbara's every friday. it's a dive bar on south st. nothing for anyone to get excited about. sure, I think most people should go there at least once, but the only reason I ever really started going there religiously was because the raven lounge became too trashy and I wanted to see steve, who bartends at b&b's every friday. all of my friends know I go every friday...hell, even my parents know. john's former roommates knew, because I had take them there multiple times (especially trista). so, it was a normal friday night. I was in a really good mood because we had had a pizza party at my house and amie came over, and then we headed over to the bar. I saw John's former roommate mark, and it was one of those awkward 'I know this guy but not very well but we just made eye contact and he knows who I am so I would be a jerk not to at least say hello' situations, so I said hey mark, how are you doing, good? good, ok, move on. I ordered a vodka cranberry. a little while later, amie went outside to scope some info on steve, and out of nowhere, trista walked over. pretty much when john stopped talking to me was when trista stopped talking to me. i remember we were supposed to go out for drinks one night and she blew me off and after that I never made an effort to hang out with her again. so it's all smiles and hugs and small talk. I'm starting to think the situation is a little fishy, but whatever. amie comes back in, I introduce her to trista, and then trista walks away. I look over amie's shoulder and follow trista's path, and see john standing over in the corner.
out of any bar in the entire city of philadelphia, why did they have to come to MY bar? the only bar I go to on fridays, 9/10 times. seriously. and all of them knew that, but had the nerve to show up. and, the worst part of the entire evening, is that mark knew john was on his way, yet didn't say anything. if mark had told me, I surely would have left. when trista came over to talk to me, she had the nerve to small-talk me and didn't tell me he was there. when I saw him, I had a panic attack. I ran outside and started crying, and amie and my other friends told me I should be the bigger person and stay. so i did. I walked up to the bar and instructed steve that I was having crisis, and told him to make me the strongest drink he could and keep them coming. he proceeded to fill a pint glass with whiskey, and I drank it all, and many others. at the end of the night I was wasted and taking shots with steve when trista had the nerve to come over and talk to me and pull her whole "call me sometime/let's hang out" spiel. I wish I wasn't so drunk because I don't remember a whole lot of what she said. I do remember her saying he's not worth it/ he's my best friend but he makes a terrible boyfriend/ you're better than that. all things I've heard a million times over. apparently I was at the bar until almost 3 with steve.
I was so drunk i could barely walk, so amie literally dragged me home. I broke down in tears and had to lay on the sidewalk. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe. all of these thoughts and memories about john came flooding back, all of the lies he told me that I had tried so, so hard to put behind me. amie got me home, god bless her, and she woke up janice because I was such a mess. they sat me down and tried to calm me down. by the time they carried me downstairs to put me to bed it was after 5am. amie left. when I woke up, I had a 2-page long text message from john.
now, a few months ago, RIGHT after john and I stopped talking, I had to change my number (not due to him; my parents changed carriers) and as part of my "coping" I decided to not give him my number. since he and I are not friends on facebook, myspace, ANYTHING anymore, I don't know how he could've gotten my cell phone number, except if trista gave it to him, or hopefully he took it without her knowing, because if she gave it to him that would make it worse. I felt so violated, that the one person I had tried for months to delete from my life now had my phone number. so, I thought about it long and hard, consulted the friends, and decided not to reply. the message wasn't really all that good anyway. he sort of tried to apologize, but not really, because he never was very good at apologizing.

find me
1. a new job
2. a boy

and I'll never complain again. promise.

oh my god, it's been forever. not that much has changed, really.
I have one more week of class after I make it through this week. I have a ton of last-minute projects to finish, of course, and that's stressing me wayyy out.
Last week I joined a gym (thursday to be exact) and I've worked out thursday, sunday and tonight, and I'm going to go again thursday after class. my goal is to lose 15 pounds. my friend jackie has been going to 12th street, so I just signed a year-long membership so we can work out together, and I have motivation to go haha.
the "new" apartment is coming along well. I was in a mad rush to get things as together as possible before my parents came to visit for thanksgiving. I painted the living room/kitchen and hallway, and my bedroom. I didn't have time to do the bathroom yet :( I'm trying to convince my roommates to do it this week, but it probably won't get done.
I'm trying to cut back hours at work but it's not happening. I'm losing my mind- I work everyday friday through tuesday and have class all day wednesday and thursday, so I don't even get one day off a week. I have things to get done, and everything is falling behind.
I don't know what to get anyone for christmas, and I don't have a lot of money to spend, either, so that's one more thing to add to the list. ughhh.

I've crawled home from worse than this

sooo we're finally settled... sort of. we found another apartment and have lived here a little over a week. it's still in shambles and in stages of unpacking, but it's getting there. we decided to paint the place (it's currently a light shade of blue... I know) so that's slowing things down. none of us have a common day off, so we're going to have to do it in stages.

this past week was insane. I went out thursday through sunday. I haven't been going out too much these days, so that really killed me. I ended up going to two bars on friday, three on saturday, and two on sunday. I basically had an ongoing hangover the entire weekend. sunday when jackie and I were leaving the bar, janice picked us up (she was at national with vanessa and we were at the el bar with justin and kyle). she was being really obnoxious in the car and pretending to be stupid drunk and so was vanessa. I tried to bite my tongue but I couldn't any longer, mostly because I CAN'T STAND vanessa. I lashed out at janice and then the whole car was pretty much silent the rest of the night home. it was funny that as soon as I called her out on it, she and vanessa all of a sudden were acting composed and not like drunk assholes like they had been. it's funny, when I'm not wasted, I can't stand being around drunk, or drunk acting, people.

other than that, I'm already in the fourth week of school and I have SO MUCH to do.

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg.

seriously, what did I do to diserve this miserable existence?!?! I like to think I'm a pretty reasonable human being, and that I don't deserve all of this insanity.

we're being kicked out of our apartment, effective oct. 1st. we haven't even fully moved in yet, due to the leaks/mold/everything falling apart. my bedroom doesn't even have a ceiling anymore!!!!!! and, to top it off, they only want to give us half of our money back despite the deplorable living conditions.
to top it off, my old roommate skipped town for 2 weeks and she owes me money from bills from our last apartment. I notified her multiple times and she kept saying she'd drop if off at work, but she didn't. now those bills are going to be late.
oscar is losing his hair due to the stress of the move. I took him to the vet and the bill came to roughly $145. I only made $190 last week after taxes, and I had to pay the vet bill up-front. I didn't even have any food!! I spent my last $30 today at trader joe's. I get paid tomorrow, but I have to pay all of the bills from my last apt. in full since Christina didn't give me her half, and there goes my paycheck.

we need to move by wednesday and if we don't get all of our money back, I can't afford another down payment. and even though oscar is on antibiotics due to his skin condition, he has an upper respiratory infection now (probably due to the mold in the basement) and I can't afford to take him to the vet. I broke down in tears today in front of my roommate because I'm so worried about him.

I really just want to die right now.

ugh. I really don't know what to do these days.
this is my last week of school before my 2 week summer break. I have a lot of work left to do until then, and hopefully I pass all of my classes. this has been an extremely stressful quarter.

I moved into my apartment on the 1st and I'm still living by myself (well, oscar is here too obviously). my roommate's bedroom keeps flooding through the ceiling every time it rains, and so does our basement. they keep trying to fix it but nothing is working. it's annoying because we still have boxes everywhere because we can't unpack a lot of things. we were hoping to have had a house warming party by now, but it keeps getting pushed back farther. at least we haven't paid rent yet!

it's hard to believe that after living here for 2+ years, I still find myself miserable, and alone. I feel like giving up.

ahhh!!! I'm moving in 4 days. I'm so so so nervous!! things have been going not so great lately and I've been worrying a lot more than I should over things.
last night I went to raven with Meredith and Bridget and we actually had a really good time. Steve was there, and he invited me to bob and barbara's on friday and I'll probably end up going.
tomorrow morning I have a doctor's appointment then work. I've worked everyday in a row since friday, and I don't have a day off until sunday which is when I move (that makes 9 days in a row!!). the payroll department at my work screwed things up last week so I never got paid, and I'm stressing over that, too.

as you can see, I have no life. goodnight.

self-portrait

heqwhfiowhefoi!

today was my first day off in FOREVER. I decided to break out of the oatmeal rut and make vegan chocolate chip pancakes. oscar agreed-- they were fabulous.
I also got my laundry done and a little grocery shopping, so I'm pretty set! I've been eating crap lately because I don't want to go and buy a ton of food when I'm moving in a couple of weeks.
speaking of moving, I'm so ridiculously excited!! I've already started packing things that I won't need in the next couple of weeks to get the ball rolling. my parents mighttt be coming up with my dad's pickup truck to help us move. if they can't, we have to rely on Craig.
my boss is on vacation for the next couple of weeks so I'm the acting manager while she's gone. I'm worried about tomorrow because I have to make sure I get all the monday paperwork done, like payroll and schedules and have everything sent to our DM on time. and at 4 o'clock I have to sit in on the weekly conference call. ughh.

today we went to look at yet another apartment, and it was pretty much a "no" as soon as I walked in. I slept in and was running late for the appointment, so janice and jackie had already had a peek. just no. the landlord was sort of sketch, too.
so far we're leaning toward the place on 15th and christian; it has everything I'm looking for, but I think it's a little small and overpriced for the location (1350 sq. ft. and it's $1600). it also doesn't have any outdoor space, like a deck or even a back patio.
we have one more on the list to look at, and from the photos it also looks promising. I'm hoping to know by the end of the week where my new apartment is!!!

other than that... I've been very conscious of what I've been eating and cut down drinking to 1-2 times a week, and have only lost 2 pounds. that, along with this ongoing apartment search AND working like crazy, is really stressing me out. I snapped on my boss yesterday for the first time...

in other news, I have an appointment tomorrow morning for a new/second job!! depending on how much this place will offer me, I may have to leave origins. we'll see!

so we didn't get the apartment on 18th and catharine. it's a total bummer because that place was PERFECT. I was already planning our house-warming party in my head... ugh. I did some craigslist searching and I found 4 apartments I'm going to try to check out this week. I don't mind staying in south philly, as long as I'm close to public transportation, but janice wants to live walking distance from work so that limits the options. I found a great sounding place on broad and wolf but I know she won't want to live there. anyway, at 3 today I'm going to check out a place on 21st and catharine, so it's in the same vicinity as the other place! and it's $100 cheaper haha. ugh this is so frustrating.

other than that, today is my day off from work but I have to stay home until 2 because we have an exterminator coming over sometime between now and 2. we definitely have ants, possibly roaches, and most likely termites. christina and I DEEP CLEANED the other day... I mean we moved all of the furniture out into the hallway so we could clean the floors and everything and we still have these problems. I need to move!!

so now we're supposed to know on monday whether or not we got the apartment. this is really beginning to stress me out- I need to know so that I can tell my current landlord and so that my roommate can make arrangements. I've already paid for my last month's rent where I'm living now, so hopefully we'll know on monday and I won't have to pay rent in august, and I can move sept 1st!!
I've also been stressing because I think I've gained weight and it's driving me insane. I've been working 40+ hours a week and I'm taking 4 classes right now so I'm constantly on the go and I really haven't been eating all that much anyway, and what I have eaten has been relatively healthy. all this week at work I brought a salad for lunch (I stocked up on salad supplies at acme the other day) and I never eat salads! and I still haven't lost any weight. I've only been going out 2-3 nights a week as opposed to 5-6 nights a week, so I've cut down a lot on drinking so hopefully that will help.

besides that... trista just called me and asked if I'd like to go to a comedy show with her and mark at 7 in old city tonight. it's a little after 6 now so I think I should get ready, haha.

today janice, jackie and I went to check out an apartment on 18th and catharine. I walked there from my house so I could check out the neighborhood and it's realllly nice. a million times better than where I live now!!! it's on the high-end of my price range but I think I could manage. it has 3 bedrooms, but jackie and janice usually share a bedroom. one of the rooms upstairs is really big, so if they share that one and we get a 4th roommate I could definitely afford it with ease. the landlord was super super nice and she said she'd let us know by tuesday at the latest whether or not it's ours. hopefully we all pass the credit check! haha.

last night was janice and jackie's 25th birthday. we (janice, jackie, blair, neshiya, bobby, nic, jen, and craig) all went out. we started at the raven lounge where evan made us birthday shots. then we went to the "sky deck" at vango. they had a lot of stupid rules there that I wasn't fond of. they did have hoegaarden, however, (albeit $7 hoegaarden) so that made it a little better. also from 10-11 on thursdays they apparently have free gin and tonic, and even though no one in the party liked gin, we all got them anyway. then we headed to that new "speakeasy" bar nextdoor. it's called Franklin Mortgage & Investment Co., and I fell in love. the 1920s is one of my obsessions, and I felt that whoever planned this bar got it right! from its hidden exterior, its name, the bartender's and server's outfits, to the drinks, it was amazing. the rest of the gang didn't find it too fun, and after having a beer (pacifico) and one of their cocktails (made from scotch, absinthe, and cognac) I was ready to go, too.
we ended the night at the raven lounge, where john found a cake in the fridge and brought it out for janice. we drank some more and I got home a little after 2.

work today was insane. penelope came in even though she's still sick, because if she didn't I would've had to work from 9:30-7:30 alone (meaning no breaks, not even to go to the bathroom!). she was supposed to stay until 6:30 but left around 3. I was there for 4.5 hours by myself and of course, we got SLAMMED. we haven't been that busy since I've started working there. I sold well over a thousand dollars while she was gone, but I worked for it!! by the time I locked the doors at 7 I wanted to die. and I had to pee like nobody's business since I couldn't take a break for 4.5 hours!!!
I work again tomorrow and sunday, and I have monday off because my parents were supposed to come visit but my mom just called me and cancelled.

today is shaping up to be yet another day spent with oscar. worst summer break ever? quite possibly. I should probably just get back in bed.

my two-year philly anniversay is in a couple of days. very little has changed.

ps. look what I found:


one of my senior pictures. yes, I was wearing one earring.

I'm pretty sure that, to say "I told you so", is an understatement. prove me wrong.

today was sort of productive. I love having a day off every once in a while, but more than a day drives me insane. I feel like I constantly have to be doing something productive.

I unexpectedly got a paycheck from Guess today; I thought I had already received my last one from them but apparently not! and it was pretty decent too. so, I immediately went grocery shopping. I was down to water, a couple avocados and a block of tofu in the fridge. and, I ran out of cat food last night so Oscar went breakfast-less this morning. I just about died lugging the food back, but I just got some essentials because I didn't want to spend more than $40.
also because of the unexpected check, I booked a hair appointment tomorrow. I used to go to Luna salon, which I absolutely love, but can no longer afford. alas, I booked an appointment at Bubbles. it's a sign of the times I guess! I'll be getting paid from Origins tomorrow, too, which means my rent check (which I mailed out this morning) won't bounce, and I'll even have money left over to pay my utilities!

as you can see, my life is not so interesting. Janice and Jackie are temporarily living in Craig's basement in the southwest while we decide if/when we're going to move in together, and where. there's still the possibility of the 5-bedroom in fishtown. right now I really don't care where I live, I just need to get out of here. I've been searching the internet like crazy, but I can't afford to live by myself and there seems to be a lack of people intersted in finding a place. UGH.

it's almost 9 and I just got back from the laundromat. after hauling too many heavy things today I think I'm going to make some dinner and curl up on the couch watching "The Great Gatsby", which I was supposed to return to the library today :(

done with spring quarter!!!

I just had my last class of spring quarter. Now, I am going to be on "break" from school until summer quarter starts in july. the thing is, my boss has scheduled me 6 days a week for my entire break. next week, my only day off is thursday. I'm glad because I love my job and I'll be making a lot of money, but at the same time I was looking forward to having my sister come visit or even having a few days to relax.

anyway, I've been to the raven lounge the last 5 days straight, except for sunday. the plan for tonight is to go to raven when I get off work, and go tomorrow and national mechanics on sunday. I hope they don't charge us for drinks tonight; I only have $2 to my name right now.

other than that... I desperately need a new living situation.

another quarter comes to an end

I really, really wish I wasn't such a procrastinator.
Monday I have my final graphics class, and I still need to finish 12 graphics for my presentation. I also have my trends and concepts class, and I still need to re-do my project (a french concept store).
tuesday I have a portfolio on stella mccartney due for my fashion show production class, and thursday I have to present my project on the battle of new orleans for my theories of communication class.

steve invited me to the khyber (he was djing last night) but of course the one night I want to do something different no one is available. I asked bryan, janice, vanessa, and emmanuel and no one could go.

jackie mentioned a house in fishtown that her friend is renting- it's 5 bedrooms and I really, really need to move asap. I'm a little worried about moving in with friends (I'm always afraid we'll get sick of each other) but I work so much and I'm the only one still in school, so I doubt it'll become a problem.

still recovering

oh man. this past week was intense.
we all went out to the raven lounge monday night (in the last post). we went again tuesday night for $10 tuesdays. wednesday I worked all day, and we went out again thursday night.
friday night we (janice, jackie, vanessa, and I) went to the raven lounge. I met them there after I got off work and changed. after having a few too many drinks janice and I walked to city hall to take the el to 2nd street. we were going to the khyber to see the ataris. it was a last-minute thing and I was afraid it would be sold out, but it wasn't. at the bar we met up with jackie and her ex, craig. craig bought us a round of drinks, and after that I was gone. I accidentally knocked over craig's drink and I felt bad and bought him a new one. after that janice would only let me drink water. we were right up front for when the ataris played. I seriously felt like I was 15 again.
after the show craig dropped jackie and janice off and then took me home. it was going on 3 and he asked me if I wanted to go to the diner with him, but I had to be at work in just under 5 hours so I passed.

saturday I worked from 8am-1:30 at guess, then from 2-7:30 at origins. after work I walked over to janice's to change. we were both starving so we went to genji for sushi, and then we walked next door to the raven lounge. I had one drink then we had a round of shots, then me, evan, jackie, janice, and jen took a cab to the barbary (yes, us 4 girls sat in the back seat). we paid and went in and it was pretty dead (I think it was a little after 10) so we walked over to johnny brenda's for drinks. after a couple drinks we walked back over to the barbary and ordered more drinks and danced for a few hours. we also met craig there. janice was pissed because evan was being a jerk, jen was off somewhere and jackie's feet hurt, so craig and I ended up dancing together most of the night.
we ended up leaving around 2, and craig took me home. he asked if he could come over and I said no, haha. idk what's up with that kid.

oh, while we were at the khyber friday NATE texted me. yes, the boy I haven't heard from in weeks. he asked me if I'd like to go out for drinks but I told him was busy. i told him we could get together sunday, since I knew I was going to the barbary saturday night, but I ended up going to a show with john sunday night instead. john texted me the other day and said he could get us on the guest list for a sold out we the kings/the cab/hey mercedes/forever the sickest kids show at the tla, so we went! we both only really like the cab and we the kings, so we sort of suffered through the other bands.
I asked nate if we could reschedule but he's out of town all this week, so maybe this weekend.

tonight I have to work, and I don't have to work tomorrow until 2pm so I'm hoping I can go out!